Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Poor Poor Avery

So Avery had her 6 month check up yesterday and for those that are concerned she is 16 pounds 11 ounces and wreaking havoc on my back in her infant car seat carrier. You'd think that my biceps would look like pythons but alas, no. I'm about to move her to a real carseat, but it's hard when you spent 12 laborious hours on a car seat cover that literally took almost as long to make as it did to birth her...

Yesterday was a stressful morning. 3 days earlier Kendall flushed a round toy ring (the ones that you can interlock to attach toys, etc.) down...the toilet. You guessed it. "Apparently" she was going potty in mommy and daddy's bathroom, dropped it and came running out just saying "um, sorry mommy. I'm sorry. Sorry Mommy, it was an accident." My first thought, as I hear the water draining from the toilet is "what now." Then I start to panic just a little as she explains with fervent remorse that she dropped the "ring" down the toilet. "The ring? what ring? was it sparkly? was it my wedding ring? oh dear Lord no. What color was it?" Come to find out it was just a toy but the toilet quickly became "sick." After a quick "talking to" for Kendall and then explaining to Mike what happened, we posted a "NO DUMPING ALLOWED" sign we went about our merry way. But the little toilet wasn't the same so after much plunging I called the plumber.

Ok, I'm really getting to the point here and I'd like to add that I'm being inspired to write about something other than kids, kids, kids here but dang if they don't do the funniest crap (no pun intended). So the plumber gets here - an hour late - and brags relentlessly (because he is my neighbor) that he is giving me the neighborly discount and that most wouldn't have stuck with "the snake" for so long and they would have charged me blah, blah, blah... he did pull the large red ring out of the toilet - thank God for plumbers - ew. Brings it out on a bed of nicely plumped toilet paper as though he's about to serve it as hors d'oeuvres and then asked me if "that was it and what I wanted to do with it." Hello!!!! Give it back to the baby!!!!

Oh good grief, I'm just kidding, he put it in the trash, but really - did he HAVE to ask me what I wanted to do with it? So mister talky talkative plumber FINALLY left after a long explanation that he can't house his work truck on the street anymore so he brought his regular car and he's so sorry that he doesn't have the normal smiley face sticker to put on the receipt like he normally would so "here...I draw it for you, okay?" O freaking K. just take your freaking money and leave so that I'm not late for my kids doctors appointment! So yeah you already forgot that that is where I am heading right?

Basically, I'm trying to get to Avery's doc appointment way early so that we can get in and get out b/c Kendall has her Little Gym class and today is "bring a friend day" and we are bringing TWO friends. Poor Avery. I'm getting her undressed like her clothes are on fire running around that doctor's office getting her weighed and measured. She's her usual happy oblivious. But OF COURSE there HAS to be a new nurse practitioner there who can't wait to tell me all about herself. I'm in no freaking mood to chit-chat. I've got people waiting on me, let's go, let's go, let's GO!

Not. Happening. I'm practically begging them to hurry up and shoot her up. I mention that I'm so sorry but that we have a class to get too and then I hear the N.P. say TEN minutes later - oh, the mom is the red door room said something about needing to hurry. SERIOUSLY!!?!?! I've been waiting in here for 10 minutes! Don't get me started on the needless, endless waiting on nurses to get my kids their shots. My point is that my poor sweet Avery is awaiting 3 shots and a liquid oral vaccine and my thought is "I have to be at this class in 3 minutes and I have 2 other 3 year olds waiting for me. Can I just strap her in her car seat and have you meet me at the front and shoot her up while I pay the bill?" My poor sweet baby. With Kendall I remember feeling guilty and ill as she looked into my eyes while I held her down and they poked and prodded her. But with Avery - I almost took the syringes in my hand myself just to hurry the process along!

So we finally made it to the class but we were about 15 minutes late. It's not like it was a big deal and ordinarily I would have thought - who cares if she was late? But it was bring a friend day!!!! Patience? None. For anyone. The staff at the doctor's office had to think I was the most heartless mom ever. And somedays I'm pretty sure that I am.


  1. I love you Kate! Perhaps you will write a kids column some day and I will be sort of famous too because I knew you when.....

  2. Whew! That was some good readin' I must say.. Hopefully you went home and used your"sippy cup" to it's full advantage! miss ya candi